It doesn't and probably never will make sense to me that God loves me so much. Why has He given me all these blessings? Why was I chosen to live the life that I do? I could have just as easily been born into poverty, or any number of less than desirable situations. But here are my thoughts and what I want to write about today... I know that God is totally in love with me. I don't understand why, but He is, and I am thankful. I know that He will always love me and that there is nothing I could do to lose His love. So sometimes I feel ashamed when I don't love other people like I should. But how incredibly humbling is it when someone, a flawed and sinful human being, loves you with the kind of love that God talks about, no matter what the circumstance? I want to learn more about it.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" -1 Corinthians 13:4-7. We've all heard it a million times, right? It takes on a whole new meaning when you read it through the eyes of a girl who is trying her best to genuinely love another. I pray that God will show me how to live out this verse, and not just in a romantic relationship. I want to love my family and my friends well. I want to love the people of Haiti well. I want to love God well.
It won't be easy, and it hasn't been easy. Sometimes you just want to cry and give up when you're hurting. But love perseveres. Sometimes you want to bring up a "but remember the time you..." moment, but love keeps no record of wrongs. Keeping all this in mind is so tough. I hate confrontation, conflict, doubt. The list goes on. But struggle is unavoidable. And what I've learned and what I want to say to offer some hope, is that if God has blessed your relationship and you are both striving and desperately desiring to love each other, getting through a conflict will make you stronger. There is always something new you can learn about a person, and sometimes you do it the hard way. But what a beautiful thing to feel loved in the midst of confusion.
We love because He first loved us. I learn more about love every day through different people and through Bible passages. It's a tricky thing to talk about and an even trickier thing to live out, but it's worth the risk. And I'm thankful that I'm not doing it alone.