Comforts and prayers.

I will never understand why God chooses to bless me time and time again. I rely on my own plans and don't trust Him nearly as much as I should. So often I will pray with all my might that something will work out the way I want it to, but I'm so thankful that God's timing is perfect and He knows what is best for me.

Tonight we had the Haiti group reunion. It was great to see the videos/pictures and recounts of what God did there. Each year I find that I miss my friends in Haiti a little more than I did last time. I think it is so neat that I can go a full year without seeing someone, even in pictures sometimes, but I remember their face and what they were wearing last time I saw them. I recognized one girl at Mariani because I remembered the velvet dress she wore the year before. It's even more amazing when they remember me. I'm there on a mission trip intentionally seeking out people to connect with, but Haiti is their everyday life, and they still remember my face. God smiles.

No less amazing is the work that God does right here in Tennessee. He's moving things along to get the building process started for our church. He's given me the opportunity to go to a great school this fall. He is doing a wonderful thing in my heart and has shown me someone I truly care about. I don't deserve any of these blessings, but I am so, so grateful that the Lord loves me and is creative in the way He's making the pieces fit. Here are a couple ways I've felt His love recently....

• He's put me in a lot of situations recently where I've had to look back on the past. What would my life be like if I had done this instead of that? Where would I be now if that relationship had worked out? Honesty hour; looking back on some of these things has made me really uncomfortable. Not because I don't like where I am, but because I absolutely love where I am, and it's embarrassing to think that I thought my plans were better. It's almost like I've been mad at myself, as well. Why did you linger in that place so long? What made you think that was going to work? It's definitely something I struggle with. But since I can't change any of those things, I can pray that God will help me focus on today. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" -Matthew 6:34

• Grahm. Oh, Grahm. God smiled at me biiiiiig time. I am thankful for the way that he and I can have such deep and meaningful conversations. We know that this relationship is more than just ourselves, and we constantly work to keep God in the middle. Just one of the reasons it's so great to be with Grahm is that I know he strives to protect my heart and let me know how much he cares for me. I am grateful and blessed. It definitely is grace lookin' my way.

The Lord is working in me, without a doubt. My prayer is that He will help me leave my past thoughts and decisions where they belong. This is such a joyful time in my life, and I refuse to waste a moment of it worrying. God sees me. He loves me, He is in control, and He is good.